Molly says, as in the old song,

"May the circle be unbroken."

A favorite poem of Molly's

This reflects something of my longing. It expresses something I'm not able to finds my own words for right now. There's so much I wish could be said and shared with all of you.
Love always, Molly
LAKE AND MAPLE
by Jane Hirshfield

I want to give myself
utterly
as this maple
that burned and burned
for three days without stinting
and then in two more dropped off every leaf;
as this lake that,
no matter what comes
to its green-blue depths,
both takes and returns it.
In the still heart,
that refuses nothing,
the world is twice-born–
two earths wheeling,
two heavens,
two egrets reaching down into subtraction;
even the fish
for an instant double,
before it is gone.
I want the fish.
I want the losing it all
when it rains and I want
the returning transparence.
I want the place
by the edge-flowers where
the shallow sand is deceptive,
where whatever
steps in must plunge,
and I want that plunging.
I want the ones
who come in secret to drink
only in early darkness,
and I want the ones
who are swallowed.
I want the way
this water sees without eyes,
hears without ears,
shivers without will or fear
at the gentlest touch.
I want the way it
accepts the cold moonlight
and lets it pass,
the way it lets
all of it pass
without judgement or comment.
There is a lake,
Lalla Ded sang, no larger
than one seed of mustard,
that all things return to.
O heart, if you
will not, cannot, give me the lake,
then give me the song.

July 18, 2011 From Molly's cousin Stuart Hunt, who is in Santa Fe working hard for Molly's health (excerpt):

By most outward appearances Molly is far from death. Although her major organs are under great strain, none of them appears to be shutting down. She is not likely to "slip away" anytime soon. However, she does suffer. She is in a great deal of pain, utterly exhausted, afraid for her sanity, barely mobile, unable to sleep and barely able to keep food down. She clings to life but she does so as almost an act of pure will. She is running on nervous / mental energy alone. This, in itself, puts a huge demand on her physical resources and yet she has already overdrawn her account in the "physical resources" department. Consequently, she descends to an evermore tenuous and fragile and vulnerable state of being. It is very hard on her.

April 2011

Flowering forsythia brought from her yard
and first cherry blossoms
tears in her dark room
"you've brought me spring"

Marilyn

Jan. 30, 2011

We’re sorry we haven’t been keeping you up to date on Molly’s welfare. Every hour is occupied with caring for her and looking for solutions. Her illness, which first manifested as Lyme disease, then progressed to include environmental illness with multiple sensitivities (as it often does in advanced cases of Lyme). It’s further complicated by sensory sensitivities (to light, sound, motion, fragrance etc.), mercury, mold and other neurotoxin poisoning, and genetic anomalies impairing her ability to eliminate toxins. Most treatments have become impossible for her to tolerate, and often produce adverse reactions. Her core vital force apparently remains strong, and she has gained some weight back. The main recommendation of the doctors right now, while some new medical approaches are being worked out, is for distance energy healers, who often sound a more hopeful note. But we are pleased to say that both hormone treatments and a protocol to address her many sensitivities are coming up in the near future. We hope she can tolerate them, and they will work!

This is a good time for us to put in a renewed request for your prayers, meditation or whatever you choose, such as holding Molly in your hearts or playing the protective Mantra CD that Molly burned. Please concentrate especially on our finding the right help for her!

We’re so thankful for your presence in her/our lives. If you’re so moved, Molly would love to hear what you’re doing and what’s alive for you, and perhaps to hear one true thing from the heart on any subject or something that made you laugh heartily recently.

Responding is difficult for her, though, because she is too weak for writing or dictating. She is now sensitive to electro-magnetic fields from telephones, computers etc. But you can be sure that she is deeply appreciative. “I’m holding you in my heart and feeling grateful for all the ways you’ve touched me,” she says. “I also can’t express enough gratitude for the loving care and devotion of my parents.”

New symptoms include a central nervous system that simply will not rest and cognitive problems, all of which the doctors say are part of the neurological aspects of Lyme. She is also weakening (in spite of her strong vital force), and experiencing ever more pain and sensitivities. Every day and night is challenging for her just to get through. She feels under continual siege from these internal and external stressors. As a result of the crazy constellation of her symptoms she has become increasing isolated and confined. She wants so much to get her life back, but is weary of soldiering on. She makes herself eat in spite of nausea. Her spirit and wit shine through, even though she is unable to talk for long at a time (and when she does she pays for it in serious wear and tear on the body and mind).

Her neurological problems make it extra hard for her to process what’s happening. She says, “I am in disbelief. I cannot believe this is my destiny.  I still feel so ALIVE!"

We all send great love to you,
Marilyn, Molly and Frank(lin)